To my partner on Jan 11 2024

I love you more. I know I'll love you forever, if you'll only have me that long. My bed is huge and empty without you. My body is cold. You bring me a comfort I feel only when you're with me. I've feared before that you changed me when we started dating, but you've only made me better, more confident, and more secure. I can only hope I do some of that for you. You looked so beautiful at that concert last night I could hardly help but stare at the way the light bounced through your hair and across your skin and for that alone I was glad we went. I always feel on top of the world when I leave a show with you. This is a secret, but whenever you end up reading this, it probably won't matter too much. While I was sitting outside I spent the whole time figuring out what to get you for our anniversary. If I hadn't been searching up things I would have worn gloves. Spent the whole time looking over my shoulder to make sure you didn't come out and see. I still couldn't figure out what to do. I guess that tape is fine for now, but I wanted something bigger. I want you to know I'm in it for the long haul, and I don't care about the rest of it, and all I want is you. I wanted something sentimental I guess. Guess that guy who only talks about cum will have to do. I'm so grateful every single day that I'm yours.

Patiently yours,
Cyrus

To the love of my life on Jan 12 2024

I woke up without you for the first time in weeks and I missed you. My new bed is very comfy, but I'm not sure what to do with all this space. I know I always talk about the desert, but today I thought about the sunrises there and how I wished you could see them. I don't think I can express how sick I was for you the first week. The desert showed me something those first few days: I wasn't homesick for home, I was homesick for you. I think that means you are my home. Every night as I fell asleep I worked diligently on my vows, or maybe something I'd say on one knee. I wanted to take you somewhere beautiful for the honeymoon, and I couldn't figure out a place as wonderful as you. Fortunately talked some sense into by fellow archaeologists, I eventually fell into a more comfortable place of missing you, and decided to continue biding my time. I found a beautiful tiny stone I thought I might be able to get made into a ring, and I thought about how delicate it would have to look, to wrap wire around such a small stone in order to still see its shape. But I thought it would look good on you nonetheless. I am currently seeking another perfect stone, even though I have managed to not lose that ridiculously small stone. I think I'll have to go back this summer to the screening station in order to find another rock ground into the perfect size by over 10,000 years of movement and rain. I thought that might be nice, to bring you a piece of the world that hasn't seen the light for 10,000 years, but is undoubtedly even older than that. In my hunt for the perfect, sentimental anniversary gift I found out your birthstone is turquoise, but turquoise really only looks good on delicate pieces. I considered it. I think you look good with something on your wrist, but I don't want to get something I don't know for sure you'd wear. I found a list of animals that mate for life and apparently one of them is the goose. Apparently nobody else likes Egyptian geese as much as we do, because I wanted to get you something like that and there was just nothing. So if I go that route, it'll have to be a vulture. Did you know black vultures not only mate for life, but enforce it? When they see another vulture in their group messing around with other vultures, they beat up on the cheater, encouraging other vultures to continue being monogamous. The poem you wrote me last night made me feel good, by the way. It was beautiful. It was the perfect gift. So glad we got to go to the zoo today. I love hearing you laugh that hard. I looked down at our shadows walking together towards the zoo and fell in love.

To the next 10,000,
Cyrus

To my partner on Jan 13, 2024

I loved our driving lesson today. You did well, too. You were stubborn, god you were stubborn. But I think it was really just persistence. I love how persistent you are. I had a really good time watching you work. I will say, I think you put it into second gear too quickly. You killed it when we all stopped to look at a cat. This morning I woke up beside you and took in your smell. The soft morning light always shimmers on your hair. You're so beautiful. I always wake up so fortunate and grateful when I get to wake up next to you. The sky was almost the color of your eyes today, but not quite as pretty. I think you think I'm joking whenever I say something like "the sunset is beautiful, but not as beautiful as you," but I'm not, even though you roll your eyes at me.

Yours to keep driving wild,
Cyrus

For my partner on Jan 14 2024

Today was cold and wet out, but I felt warm all day with you (and your family). I know how much you love me when you follow me in and out into the freezing temps so I can show you the ice in the bird bath. Thank you for always enabling my excitement. I wish I could remember exactly what the circumstances were, but there was a moment today where I made you laugh so hard you snorted and I felt like I was filling my life's purpose by making you laugh. Even when I can only manage to make you smile I still feel full.

With love to keep me warm,
Cyrus

To my partner on Jan 16 2024

I knew I would miss you when you took me home tonight, but I felt fortunate in the car when I got to sing with you. Getting to sing with you in the car is genuinely one of my favorite bonding moments we have together. Your voice is beautiful. I'm not much of a singer, but you're one of the very very few, if not only, people I feel comfortable giving it my all with. I cherish every moment we get together on our drives, and I drink it up like it's going out of style.

With a song in my heart,
Cyrus

For my partner on Jan 17 2024

Today was not very remarkable really. I didn't even see you today. But I got to think about you. I did some number crunching and some deep hopeful wishing and thought about the future. I realized I wanted to take care of you and be a provider. I'm not sure what's changed in me over the past year or so, but I think I've become stronger and more capable. I'm ready to step up and take care of us. I thought about California, and I'm ready to go wherever we end up going. It'll be hard I think, but I'll have you and that's all I've ever really needed. We won't have a very easy life, but it'll be ours and I think we'll have a beautiful one. I think I can make it happen and then you'll get your master's degree and then we can both work and our horizons will really expand.

Eyes ahead,
Cyrus

For my partner on Jan 20, 2024

Thank you for loving me for seven whole years, thank you for standing by me, and supporting me, and caring about me for all this time. Every little thing you do and everything you've done has never gone unnoticed. I think I fall more in love with you every single day. My heart still skips a beat when I see you come down my walk way. The joy and pride I feel when I get you to laugh and I get to see you smile is unsurpassed. It's really like no other feeling I know. I hope that you feel something similar towards me.

All the love in my heart is yours,
Cyrus

For my partner on Jan 21 2024

I'm starting this letter while you're laying in my lap. I'm breathing in the smell of your hair and listening to your breathing and feeling how warm you are. I'm thinking about last night, not too long after I wrote my last letter, we laid in bed together, and you pulled me closer to listen to All Hail West Texas together on your cassette player. You dozed, and I laid there, listening closely for the music through your headphones until the album ended. I remembered that this player doesn't have auto stop and I tried to find the stop button without waking you up, but I woke you up anyways and you turned it off so quickly, I was kind of impressed by your urgency. As I typed this now, you've just pulled me into a new, fascinating position to wrap me around your head, and you've fallen back to sleep. Tonight you took me out in the rain and we played tag, you kissed me under the street light in the rain and lightning and I felt like I was in a movie. A few minutes later we went back out to sit on the porch, the rain even heavier than before. I wrapped my towel around your shoulders and leaned against you. You smelled like your conditioner, rain, and the fresh, clean towel. We got up and I kissed you right in front of the door, in the dark. What an absolutely perfect, beautiful evening. You made me chicken alfredo earlier too, for our anniversary yesterday. You didn't think much of it, but I thought it was wonderful, to me your food is pretty much always delicious. Only exception was that horrific fried rice you made that one time... Why was it so wet?

Flooded with love (and rain),
Cyrus

For my partner on Jan 22 2024

I'm writing this from the back seat of the truck as we take your mom home from work. You're telling us about how Pakistan was Soviet Russia's Vietnam, I think. Sometimes I get lost in your voice, and this was one of those times. I'm also not much for foreign geopolitics, even though I probably should be. Anthropology and all, you know. Earlier you were helping me pick a middle name and we were laughing, making fun of many of the options. I wonder what middle name you'll pick, since it seems like you're going first. I know you've got a first name picked out. I've always admired your bravery, and how when you set your mind to something you go for it.

Yours,
Cyrus

For the love of my life on Jan 23, 2024

I'm tuning in here (get it?) while I listen to you on the radio. I love hearing your voice come over the airwaves. You sound perfect. I'd take an hour of you talking over music any day, but the music is a plus. I'm reminded of when we were talking about The Librarian and how he was kind of crushing on a guy in a video game over the radio. I feel like hearing a loved one (or one you've come to love, in his case) over the air is romantic. Not even necessarily in a love way, but a dramatic flair kind of way, although I do also think it's romantic in a love way. A good radio host makes you feel like they're talking to You Specifically, and I think you do a good job of that. But the romance of hearing you crackle to life over the air, tuning in to distant stations, listening closely for your voice, heart beating, skipping beats, waiting just for your voice, captivated, captive, waiting for every word, every song, every moment of empty air, every second of static. I think about how, even when we aren't listening, that's just bouncing around us at all moments. And radio broadcasts are so fleeting! If I'm not listening I'll miss it, and I can't pause or rewind the radio, hell we're lucky when we find recorded radio broadcasts. I love what you said about our drives. I miss getting to just drive and sing with you. The nighttime city sparkling around us, empty road ahead. We did sing our hearts out and I miss the regularity of it. I suppose I should move on to the rest of the day. I got to eat lunch with you today. I don't really remember what we talked about, but I got to sit there with you, over a meal, and talk about whatever. What a blessing I get to live here in the same time and place as you and we can just go get lunch, huh? Some of the most important moments are perhaps the ones where nothing important happens at all.

Love on air,
Cyrus